Peanut Head

I'm a peanut head. If that term is meant to describe someone who sometimes doesn't pay attention to what's going on around them, then that was me a couple of days ago. You know that recent salmonella scare with peanut butter products? For some reason, it just didn't really register or I maybe I thought that tainted food products don't make it into our little nirvana in California. It wasn't until I found myself nibbling on my fourth peanut butter cracker while at work doing research on the internet that the awful truth hit.
There I was, quietly reading about Obamania in Europe on msnbc.com, when my eyes scanned over a photo of a package of crackers wrapped in orange with the word 'Austin' prominently displayed. It looked unsettlingly familiar. The image was used to illustrate an article on the peanut butter product recall. Seems that Kellog Co. is recalling their Toasty Crackers with Peanut Butter because the FDA found salmonella several packages.
"Oh shit!" I screamed, throwing the offending package across the room. My coworker ducked just in time as the crackers tinted with an orange hue not found in the natural world hit the wall and exploded into a flurry of salmonella shards.
"Good god! What's the matter?" the coworker cried.
"I'm going to die!" I said, sticking my finger down my throat in an unsuccessful attempt to cough up the crackers. "Look!" I yelled, turning the monitor around so he could see the news clip warning people to stay away from Austin peanut butter crackers. "That's EXACTLY what I just finished eating. I'm feeling sick already."
"And you're just hearing about this now? It's been on the news for, um, about a week."
Ignoring his last comment, I quickly sent a text to my girlfriend, letting her know that I was on my way to the ER to get my stomach pumped.
"You know, it's very possible that the crackers you ate aren't from the tainted batch," the coworker said. "Don't you think you're overreacting?"
I stopped for a moment to consider this. "Yeah, maybe," I admitted.
I took a deep breath and really checked myself for signs of cramping and the impending runs. Nothing. I felt fine. In fact, great.
"If I don't show up at work tomorrow, you'll know why," I said, and started imagining all the fun things I could do on the day off I had inadvertently set myself up for.
Well, I didn't get sick and I didn't capitalize on the day off. I figured I was lucky enough to get passed this scare without incident. Why tempt fate? It's like when you were a kid and you ditched school, telling your teacher you were absent because your grandmother died. And then she does.
Even a peanut head can appreciate the curse of karma.