Choking on Estrogen and Other Midlife Maladies

The Combo Package

Imprisonment by hormones is not pretty.

I blame a lot of things on hormones. If I’m cranky, I’m not getting enough estrogen. If I’m angry, my testosterone level is out of whack. If I’m getting fat just passing the ice cream section of the grocery store, my progesterone isn’t doing its job. And if life is good and I’m feeling confident and balanced, I give credit to the correct mix of all of the above.

The Choke

One of my favorite things to blame on hormones is my proclivity for choking in tennis. Tennis is more than a passing fancy for me. It is a sport that afforded me great self-esteem when I was “on” and an equal measure of painful demoralization when I was “off”— or as I like to refer to it: “You suck!” (a well-hidden scream uttered silently under the breath).

Self-explanatory. Do the math.

The Cure

It’s much easier to find fault with the involuntary production or cessation of bodily material than admit that sometimes my focus wanes or that my brain gets the better of me. But the truth is, it does. And the truth also is, there are tools to combat a chronic case of the choke. I should know. I wrote all about it a few years ago in an article on tennis and self-induced mind games, before the sweaty, sinewy hand of perimenopause put its death-grip around my aging (albeit gracefully) neck.

The Outcome

Today, as the "peri" portion of my hormonal upheaval turns to the full-blown big “M,” I am amused looking back on those early days (four years ago) when I was sure I had answers. But imagining the slow roll of an ocean wave doesn’t cool down hot flashes. And “being the ball” — while a great tool for on-court concentration — doesn’t provide respite from menopausal moodiness. But it’s sure good for a laugh and for winning the occasional tennis match.